What Network are You on?

I spoke briefly in an earlier post about the disconnection between ourselves and the people that are important in our lives, our family. The way families grew and loved and lived together for thousands of years changed in the last century and a half; the time we spent with our family was replaced by the time we spend as part of a "network". I want to write in this post about what has replaced the family in our lives and why, I believe, that many of us are lost and unable to cope in the psuedo-families that we now try to live in. We are all members of "networks", the people we work with, clubs we belong to, people who route for the same sports teams. Even our children and parents have been placed in networks; our children are in the school network and many of the elderly are in networks of nursing homes. It is espescially bad for our children as they no longer spend that time with the elderly that they once did.

We get a false sense of family in our networks. We talk to Joe over the water cooler about last night's TV show or the game on Friday. This, for too many, is the foundation we are buidling our lives on. There is no permanence in a network. Joe leaves for another job and you start talking to Ann over the water cooler. Our relationships are paper thin. Will Joe or Ann be there for you if you are sick for a year with Cancer? Will they care for you? And what happens when Joe gets that new job in San Diego? Some networks are stronger than others, and certainly they do provide much to many of us, but I wonder if what we've lost can ever be replaced by what we have? I wonder if many of the problems with our families today are not caused by too much networking?

I am reassessing the things that are important in my life. I spent a lot of time chasing material things and trying to move up in the networks that I belonged to, trying to be key in those relationships. I know that I live in this world and will always be networking, but I'm going to spend more time with the people that really matter to me. I need the company of people who don't care what my contribution to the bottom line is. I honestly don't care who won the Super Bowl. I hope when I'm with the people that I consider to be my family that they will feel the same way and that we can, together, build a refuge from the networks that fill and cheapen our lives.