Judge Not…

Part of the responsibility for the coaches in my son’s baseball league is to fill in as Umpires during games where your team is not playing. It’s an unpleasant duty and the coaches shy away from it as much as they can. I hate leaving our Manager stranded and have worked a number of games this year to keep him from having to cover all of them. My last game of the season just ended and I thought I’d put down a few thoughts… We hate to Umpire for the same reason we hate so many other things in our lives…we seek the approval of others. There’s really no way to win when you’re behind the plate. No one is going to be happy with every call and you can pretty much depend on both sides being dissatisfied with you by the end of the game. Tonight was a playoff elimination game and the pressure was even higher than normal. The coaches (and parents) at this point in the season are pretty “hell bent for leather” and you can count on catching some anger from one direction or the other. I’ve gotten comfortable with this and don’t have too much anxiety when I have to call a game.

I don’t really care that much for the mass of humanity and consider myself more immune than most to the urge to please. Still, I wonder what makes us need the approval of other people, especially those people we don’t care for or don’t respect. I believe we’re seeking some affirmation of our own self worth, that the good inside of us is not all in our own heads. It’s kind of odd that we would expect or hope for this even from those we dislike, but I see it every day and have been there myself many times. I don’t know if it’s just age, but I have lost most of my desire to give a shit what anyone thinks of me and I don’t carry much baggage with respect to other peoples opinions. However, I know that this matters a lot to most people and I have been trying to work on the other side of the equation within myself.

I have never been as tolerant a person as I would have liked, but I think I’m getting better. I find myself feeling sorry for people where I might have been frustrated in the past…As I see it, we all have a long path ahead of us. For some it is a much more difficult path than it is for others. I have always been lucky and my walk through this life has been an easy one, I need to do what I can to make the load as light as possible for those around me. At the very least, I need not add to their load with my judgment or condescension. I can’t imagine why my approbation would mean anything to anyone, but I’ll try not to be stingy with it. There are some out there who are just malevolent and evil. I’ll avoid these whenever possible and stand against them when I must. I will do every thing I can to give the rest of you a break (and a helping hand when I’m able). You don’t need to worry about my approval…it’s yours. Good Luck and I hope your path is a soft one!