A Level Playing Field

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about levels…Seems to me that people all work on a number of levels; mental, physical, sexual, spiritual, etc.…some of us work on many levels, while others are practically one-dimensional. People usually show just one or two of their levels until you really get to know them, but good friends can slide back and forth with each other and share things in most all of the levels where they live. I have a few of these friends in my life and it’s amazing to me how much they fill the spaces in me and keep me growing.

I’ve always been a strong believer in free will and determinism, but I’ve had to reassess this belief recently … I’m not so sure of things anymore. I am more receptive to fate and I think the biggest reason is the tendency of special people to walk into my life at the exact moment when I most need them. It all seems too perfect to be coincidence. I guess that I come down on the side of self-determinism within a larger framework of fate. I think we all act independently, but that there exists a larger plan for us and we ultimately find our equilibrium within that plan, in spite of whatever short term decisions that we might make that deviate from it.

But I’m not here to talk about fate…I want to explore levels. I talked in an earlier post about casual acquaintances and how some of these people have a strong impact on me from the first time I meet them. I think some of this might be associated with levels that we don’t readily see or feel, but that help make us who we are. I know that I can always find someone to connect with on the physical or sexual levels (and I don’t mean actual sex, just mutual attraction), but that spiritual and intellectual connection is something that I have with only a handful of people. More importantly, I sense even deeper levels that I can’t name or adequately describe. I feel these levels on the outskirts of my consciousness and I have felt others on these levels.

This is where I seek my salvation. I believe that our shared soul lies in the levels just outside of this material world. I look here for the doorway to truth and total communion. When I feel someone at one of these levels, I find myself in the presence of a shared soul…of another part of myself…of God. I don’t know if I meant for this to be a religious post, but I relate my spirituality more and more with those levels. I am happy to have finally come to this faith and to have it feel so comfortable on me. I have made attempts at religion before and always came away feeling as though I were trying very hard at something that wasn’t there.

I don’t expect faith to be easy for someone like me, but I’m confident now that I’ll get there…that I’m not traveling in circles or going nowhere. I’ve finally gotten comfortable with where this path is leading me. I am looking forward to the rest of this life and all that follows. I hope that some of this makes sense to those who read it, but even if it doesn’t, I find myself having a clearer understanding of where I’m going and what I’m doing by just having put these random thoughts down…Thanks for listening!