I'm ready for my close-up Mr. DeMille

Fame...Approbation...

I don't have a real high level of respect for most of the people wandering this crazy world, so I sometimes wonder why I still look for any approbation of myself from others. Maybe this is a sign of why I haven't yet moved on.

Funny thing happened to me last night...I was in class and we were asked to "Google" our names. I have googled myself many times and have never come up with me...there's some Architect with Norman Shaw in his name and he must have done some great things because he's all over the web. Funny but this always bothered me a little, like I didn't exist or do anything of any import. Anyway, last night we googled our full names (with middle initial). I got two real hits on myself! The first was from a research paper that I did with the advanced speech lab at Temple University. The second was from a study on ground-source heat pumps that I performed as a young engineer back in Florida. I can't tell you had good it felt to know something I had done was actually out there somewhere.

The Scottish Poet Robert Burns wrote for his own eulogy, "Here lies one whose name was writ in water." Obviously, Burns had a somewhat pessimistic view of his contribution to poetry. I think we all worry about our impact...we all look for our "15 minutes of fame"... I guess it's because we feel the need to know we've made a difference.

How lost we are when we don't realize that the most important difference we make is on the hearts of others!! I need to stop looking for approbation and acknowledgement for my accomplishments and start sewing seeds of happiness in the hearts of those around me! One of my favorite quotes is from The Catcher in the Rye:

"The mark of an immature man is his desire to die nobly for a cause..
The mark of the mature man is his desire to live humbly for one."

I am a bit of an arrogant ass, so being humble doesn't come easy to me. For now this will be my focus...this will be my goal. I'm not sure how many more lessons lie between me and the light, but I'm sure that this is one of the big ones that I haven't yet learned. Those of you who are close to me can help me...remind me when I'm being a bore and don't let me get too high on myself. Then just let me know you care.

Love to all! Norm.